Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you win again, gameday.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
