i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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