Soap is not a condiment
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
