I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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