So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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