My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
