yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
