rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
