You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
