quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
