Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
