She's JV to your varsity
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
