Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
