She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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