we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
