We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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