the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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