so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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