If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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