ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
