he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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