my vag is so smooth its legendary
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize