i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
