As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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