you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
