Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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