The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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