That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
