I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize