Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
