If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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