Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i've created a new STD.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
