I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize