just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
