We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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