just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
