Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
