Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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