I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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