Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
