Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
