DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
