East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize