My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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