im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
