Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
