I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
A bitchslap is in order.
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