you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He did a backflip because drugs
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