dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
