i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think i have herpe
just one?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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