$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
