maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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