Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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