summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
