I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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