Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
