You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
