i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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