All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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