I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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