i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
