Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
